Although I have tried for so long to survive this chaotic time, I guess there is nothing left to do but surrender. With writer's block swallowing up every single one of my book ideas and my social life so far down the drain, I can’t even remember who I was before this pandemic. I really and truly wish that I could turn myself into an emotionless robot.
At least that way I wouldn’t have to try half as much to get my homework done or study at all. Also, my appearance wouldn’t bother me as much now that I have dropped the ball when it comes to a healthy lifestyle (I literally can’t remember what a salad looks like). Nevertheless, I find myself completely locked away, not able to be bothered to do anything (like showing signs of life) while life seems to pass me by.
Soon, I will be gone, and the only thing to indicate that I existed will be the gigantic hollow in my mattress and a half eaten chocolate bar laying on my bedside table.
I’ve stopped trying! Is it possible that this is the reason for my misery?! I’m not saying that everything was perfect when things were ‘normal’, but even then there was always a group of people who were willing to help. They might not have fully understood your situation, they might not have even thought that their presence was necessary, but they cared and they were there! These are only half of the thoughts that race through my mind every morning when I wake up and every night in my bed.
To tell you the truth, I think that this new version of normal has most of us reaching for tissues… especially us few who are compelled to suffer through online school. Although there may be some positives (not including facilitation when it comes to cheating on exams, since that is definitely not beneficial in the long run), school seems to be twice the work it used to be, without any actual fun.
I used to accept the fact that school was obligatory by telling myself that at least I’ll get to see my friends or go to an after-school club. That is history. Nowadays, I have trouble remembering what my friends look like. They are the fading recollections of a better time… a time where I could play football, hockey, make a fool of myself in a karaoke bar or pass notes around class on a crumpled piece of paper.
Nope. Not any more. Even though I get to wake up a few seconds before nine, just in time to join class and also get to throw a billion blankets over my shoulders and drink hot chocolate on a freezing winter’s day while the teacher blabbers on about ‘π’, that is nothing compared to what I go through: crashing computers, faulty wifi, endless assignments, teachers constantly complaining about having a billion things to mark while continuing to mercilessly increase our workload… (to be fair that happened before covid as well) but nonetheless, torture!
To some people, this may seem pessimistic or sad… however, I’m neither of those things. On the contrary, I love my life. So much so that I advise everyone who reads this article (although you might relate to the mind-numbing boredom and want to escape from this new version of everyday life) to stay inside and keep safe, so that we can all rediscover ourselves again soon!
About the author:
My name is Louisa Vichou and I’m a 14 year old aspiring writer who loves painting, pretty much all sports, singing and piano. However, (like all the greats) I have an arch-enemy... maths!
drawing by zimo qin