Embrace endings

Sometimes when you start writing an article it can have a twist. I wanted to focus on the bright side of an ending but with some timing passing, my opinion has shifted. So now you are reading about the benefits of an ending but also about the things I learned in the process of letting go.

The end of any relationship is hard. It doesn’t matter if it was a romantic relationship or a friendship. An end (for the most part) is heartbreaking. But every end carries the gift of a new beginning. We should normalize talking about endings and not see them just as something bad. Our life has different chapters that will eventually end. We finish high school- check a chapter is finished, we finish our studies- check a chapter is finished and that automatically means the end of something.

As I get older (I’m 25 years old now) I realize how important it is to know that eventually everything in our life has an ending date we just don't know when it will be. And that’s more a gift than something bad. An end can bring us closer to ourselves than ever before. We may discover parts of us that we didn’t know before.

It's a good thing although it's the hardest I've ever done.

That’s what I wrote in my diary a few days ago. An ending can lead you to rock bottom. It feels like a part of you is dying. And it’s so hard. You may find yourself crying for days or weeks and don’t find the courage to go outside. But we know that we will start to blossom again. When I look at my white Orchid it becomes clear. It does not always have beautiful blossoms. Sometimes it needs time to recover. Time to collect energy and a few months it comes back in more beautiful ways than ever before.

It’s like the weather on a stormy day in northern germany, for the most part it’s rainy and when you don’t expect it you will see the sun. And that little moment fills up your heart. I recently went through the end of a relationship which was hard in the beginning. For a certain time I couldn’t see the gift that this ending was bringing me. I could only focus on the end and the past. The time we spent, the memories we had and the things I lost with that ending. But like Yin and Yang everything in life has two sides. When there is an end and a deep grief there is always another side to it. We just tend to see only one side in the beginning.

Breakups are hard but you will be stronger than ever.

That’s another thing I wrote down some time after the ending. I had a romantic picture in my mind that you’ll find the one person you want to be with for a long time. And maybe that is possible if both parties agree on growing. Growing includes the possibility to grow apart and to find out that you want something else.

Changing societies leads us to different forms of living and relationships

That's something we need to adapt to, not something we should be upset about.

I think that nothing in our life is constant; everything comes in waves. As I spent some time at airports in the last days one thing became crystal clear. Our life can not always play on the high wave, we need to have deep waves to actually appreciate the high ride. Every plane runs out of kerosene, it can not fly forever. The same appears in our life and our relationships. Some may have kerosene for a lifetime and some may not. And that’s totally okay- or can you imagine having a sky full of stars without seeing the sky?

Digitalization leads to new ways of being in a relationship. We can be in contact constantly. That sounds awesome firstly but it is also something that was never there before. It’s the first time ever where we can always stay in touch. The sparkle then is gone because you can tell the other person anything anytime. But we shouldn’t forget that the smartphone is not more than 15 years old. Before that time we needed to catch a person on a regular phone or write letters to stay in contact. Those efforts that we made to stay in touch made it special. Nowadays we can reach out for anything and the sparkle is a bit gone. But on the other side we gain a lot with digitalization as well- like if we need the other person we can easily reach out. So like an ending has two sides, I believe that every change has it too. I want to leave you with a quote of mine about losing and gaining.

Sometimes we need to lose something to win.



About the author:

  • I’m Kristin, an Ethnology student and creative writer living in the beautiful city Vienna. Most of the time you can find me on my bike catching the little moments in life and also, you’ll always find a stock of peanut butter on my kitchen shelve. Creating and sharing stories is one of my biggest passions!


Credits:

  • drawing by@pius.ko

#ending #relationships #friendship #embrace



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