I'm so sorry but I have zero respect for the people who harass someone because of their preferred pronouns or because they identify as something which they may not understand. Can people just stop being disrespectful about other people's genders?! The way I see it, we have been brainwashed by the people around us into believing that gender is what is in our pants, which in turn fits us into one of two boxes: girl or boy, and the moment that you are placed into one of those two then you are automatically expected to look and behave a certain way!
Personally, I identify as gender-queer since I’ve gone through times where I preferred he/him pronouns or she/her or they/them which, if u wanted to put a label on it, would mean that I was jumping from genderfluid to non binary…. However, I’ve found it very hard to convince my friends of this. Femininity just isn’t me. And it’s not that I’m a tomboy, it’s not that I’m trans, I’m me and that might fall out of the box ‘girl’ sometimes. People need to understand that there is a fluidity to gender and that certain things about it are no more than a social construct. Not only that but it needs to be understood that anyone can identify as whatever they want. I’m hearing people constantly mocking gender and the LGBTQ+ community because of all of the new terms that come up but it’s those terms that make us feel comfortable with ourselves, our bodies, our personalities and with our preferences. We’re not trying to be different, we’re not trying to gain your attention, we’re trying to find out who we are outside of modern society's restrictions and we really shouldn’t be bullied, mocked, invalidated and judged because of that.
What is probably equally as horrible if not more than not being judged for who you are is probably having the courage to turn into that person. I can’t even count the times I wanted to dress more masculine, looked at the clothes in my closet and then had a mini anxiety attack and wore something more feminine instead. The first time I actually decided to wear something more masculine, I did so and then went into a fit of rage and misery because of the bump made by my boobs. Then there was the time where I wore a corset the other way around which made the illusion of a binder only to be told by a group of friends that I look flat and ugly. It’s one of those things that you always act like you don’t care about, but it affects you more than you want other people to believe.
The only time when I actually feel comfortable with both my sexuality and my gender is when I’m around people who don’t know me at all, or those few friends who respect my pronouns without taking shots at my gender. And even though I don’t think that this is ok I’m satisfied with it for now because it’s really what I’m comfortable with at the moment. However I do look forward to the day where the people around me respect my identity and I can really be myself without being borderline harassed, even if it is as a joke.
About the author:
My name is Louisa Vichou and I’m a 14 year old aspiring writer who loves painting, pretty much all sports, singing and piano. However, (like all the greats) I have an arch-enemy... maths!