It Took Me a Week To Realize That I Was Sexually Abused

Updated: Nov 14

Trigger Warning : sexual assault

Do you know what I find funny? That I was recently sexually assaulted and it took 3 different conversations with friends and one with my therapist to understand that it was sexual assault. Maybe funny is not the word. Ridiculous is more like it. Like, how is it possible that it’s 2021 going onto 2022, and a 14 year old girl can have such an experience and shrug it off?!

To explain what happened, more or less, here goes the sequence of events:

I was at a party. I was dancing with this one guy (17 years old) and at some point we started making out. I was wasted, he was pretty drunk and we decided (consensually) to go to an empty room. So far so good. After spending a good amount of time in that room doing things one does when in a bedroom at a party, he told me he had a condom, and not feeling up to it, I said no. He ‘accepted’ this but not after about 10 minutes of whining and trying to persuade me. That on its own isn’t a great thing but it’s ok. I get up and start making my way to the door, wanting to go rejoin the party, still pretty drunk. He catches up to me, picks me up and carries me back to the bed and shoves his dick in my mouth. I went along with it thinking that after that he would let me leave. Eventually, he loosens the grip he had on my hair and I roll away from the bed and try once again to make my way to the door without tripping. Nope. Once again the guy drags me back to the bed and this time fingers me saying things like “don’t you like this? Why don’t you want to fuck? Let’s have sex!” I kept saying no while he wore a condom.

The next day he called to apologize, which I found very sweet… Looking back on it I just can’t stop laughing. I’m sorry, but for the next week I was walking around, not feeling so great about it but shrugging and thinking it was perfectly normal!!! My therapist kind of woke me up from my delusions and ever since then I’ve been hitting my head on the wall.

I just want to say two more things.

First, can we please stop persuading people that if you have ‘done something’ with a person that them doing this is ok?! It’s not. It’s rape.

Second of all, being drunk is NOT an excuse. Me being drunk doesn’t mean that it’s okay. It actually makes it worse! And him being drunk and then regretting it the next day is also not an excuse after I had clearly said no multiple times and had to be dragged time after time to the bed.

Honestly, I felt like I owed it to myself to write an article about this because it is so unbelievably ridiculous and still has me in shock, even almost a month later!

About the author:

My name is Louisa Vichou and I’m a 14 year old aspiring writer who loves painting, pretty much all sports, singing and piano. However, (like all the greats) I have an arch-enemy... maths!


Instagram: @toki.suke


#sexualassault #metoo #sexualabuse #rape #sexualviolence #speakup #standup #nomeansno #consent

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