Mindless Gap

I am talking about the thing that fills your head with thoughts

‘til you can't tell apart

which ones of them were yours,

it makes you feel like every day might be your last

the thing that unwillingly keeps you living in the past.

feelings of euphoria start fading fast

smiles never last

I'm lost in this mindless gap,

a soundless blast

I can't breathe,

what’s up with that?

hyperventilating my way through life

while panic attacks take me by surprise, in disguise,

taking over my life ‘til a past of me dies

so I keep on breathing ‘til I make it right.

feelings of suffocation, lightheadedness, drowning

it limits you, keeps you in hiding

keeps you doubting, keeps providing

irrational fears, tears are rising.

it keeps you from talking, opening up to the people around you

it’s lonely, empty roads that surround you

you never asked for it,

it just found you.

it’s a weight, a shadow, attached to your ankle

it’s a lot more weight than you can actually handle

but you keep dragging it through while it creeps up behind you,

a living curse embedded inside you, to remind you...

it’s the thing that sucks up your voice when you try to call the waiter

it’s the answer “maybe” to a “wanna go out later?”

it’s the phrase “I don't know”, it's the word hesitation

it’s like living life under absolute dictation.

it can have any form, make anyone its victim

it's actually increasing due to this world’s corrupt system

always has you sitting on the edge of your chair

stuck in survival mode to threats that aren't even there.

slowly takes over your decisions, your body

it makes you lose focus, it wont let you study

it’s the kind some people don't even believe exists

and make fun of you when you tighten your fists.

but it's all real, your honor, I am a witness myself

you wanna get better, but can't ask for help

some people say it's an excuse because you are lazy

they don't know what it's like, it’s them who are crazy.

those people can't empathize with things that don't concern them

it's your life so honestly, screw them

ignore their ignorance and keep on singing

they are too shallow to look for deeper meaning.

don't take life too seriously, find your way to push through

they'll never know the strength it took for you everyday to push through

overthinking can overwhelm – I face it everyday

but when you learn to let go, you will be okay.

it's all part of the unique being that you are

just look at yourself and smile, you’ve made it this far

and when your scar is revealed and the pain takes over,

just remember at the end you’ll come out stronger

hope is immortal, it’ll never die

so lift your head up and look at the sky

pick a star, any one of them will do

now make a wish and keep hoping for it to come true...

You are not alone, I have it too.


39 views1 comment

Recent Posts

See All