I am talking about the thing that fills your head with thoughts
‘til you can't tell apart
which ones of them were yours,
it makes you feel like every day might be your last
the thing that unwillingly keeps you living in the past.
feelings of euphoria start fading fast
smiles never last
I'm lost in this mindless gap,
a soundless blast
I can't breathe,
what’s up with that?
hyperventilating my way through life
while panic attacks take me by surprise, in disguise,
taking over my life ‘til a past of me dies
so I keep on breathing ‘til I make it right.
feelings of suffocation, lightheadedness, drowning
it limits you, keeps you in hiding
keeps you doubting, keeps providing
irrational fears, tears are rising.
it keeps you from talking, opening up to the people around you
it’s lonely, empty roads that surround you
you never asked for it,
it just found you.
it’s a weight, a shadow, attached to your ankle
it’s a lot more weight than you can actually handle
but you keep dragging it through while it creeps up behind you,
a living curse embedded inside you, to remind you...
it’s the thing that sucks up your voice when you try to call the waiter
it’s the answer “maybe” to a “wanna go out later?”
it’s the phrase “I don't know”, it's the word hesitation
it’s like living life under absolute dictation.
it can have any form, make anyone its victim
it's actually increasing due to this world’s corrupt system
always has you sitting on the edge of your chair
stuck in survival mode to threats that aren't even there.
slowly takes over your decisions, your body
it makes you lose focus, it wont let you study
it’s the kind some people don't even believe exists
and make fun of you when you tighten your fists.
but it's all real, your honor, I am a witness myself
you wanna get better, but can't ask for help
some people say it's an excuse because you are lazy
they don't know what it's like, it’s them who are crazy.
those people can't empathize with things that don't concern them
it's your life so honestly, screw them
ignore their ignorance and keep on singing
they are too shallow to look for deeper meaning.
don't take life too seriously, find your way to push through
they'll never know the strength it took for you everyday to push through
overthinking can overwhelm – I face it everyday
but when you learn to let go, you will be okay.
it's all part of the unique being that you are
just look at yourself and smile, you’ve made it this far
and when your scar is revealed and the pain takes over,
just remember at the end you’ll come out stronger
hope is immortal, it’ll never die
so lift your head up and look at the sky
pick a star, any one of them will do
now make a wish and keep hoping for it to come true...
You are not alone, I have it too.