
ocd ocd ocd
“You are late, again! Why?
What is it this time?
Let me guess,
slept in?
Didn't hear your alarm clock?
Missed the bus?”

Well, not quite…
I get out of bed
long before the sun does,
You wake up to a melody
I wake up to my head buzz,
To my running thoughts
that get me out of breath,
To my irrational fears
that scare me to death,
To the sound of my heartbeat
angrily thumping,
Reminding me that I'm here
when actually,
I am floating
somewhere above me,
Overwhelmed by an urge
from my head to my feet,
It tells me I'm not good enough.
It tells me to repeat,
to repeat
to repeat,
That's the only way I can get some relief,
some relief
some relief,
I try to fight it
So while you watch your seventh dream
it's been the seventh time today that I am brushing my teeth,
You’ve had your 8 hours of sleep
and you still dare to complain?
I am lucky if I get half of that
my chest, my left hand is in pain,
I think it’s a heart attack
emergency room,
Here we are again
numbers on the walls dancing in my head,
2 plus 5 plus 3 equals ten,
While you sit and eat your breakfast
I don't dare to take a bite,
I am too busy turning on and off
and on and off,
and on and off the light
ironically,
Eating, is what would take up too much time
and as I finally manage, to walk out the door,
And see my house in the distance start to get small
it’s getting smaller and smaller...
But wait, thoughts in my mind are starting to hover,
What if I left the stove on?
What if I burn down the house?
I didn’t even cook today
so I know how ridiculous this sounds,
Yet here we go
walking all the way back,
Defying all logic
avoiding every crack,
I knew it.
I came all the way back
back for nothing,
This sort of thing
just doesn't surprise me,
While you start your engine
and smoothly drive off,
I am constantly checking
if my door is locked,
I know I have with me everything I need
but I am still patting myself down
thinking...
What did I miss?
check check check
double checking
triple checking,
It's just never enough.
I am finally here
while you look down at me,
I feel my heart start crawling,
The amount of time I was late
is equivalent to how long you waited in line
For that latte you are holding,
But life is unfair
and you just wouldn't understand,
You just want an excuse
to get on with your day,
You won't listen anyway
to what i have to say,
You approach me annoyed and ask me why I am late
making wrong assumptions that are pretty harsh and painful,
I look at you struggling to hold back my tears
you are getting frustrated
more so every second,
I am guessing it has to do with the fact
that I still haven't answered your question,
I’m at a loss for words
I’ve got to say something,
You raise your voice...
“Well what is it then?”
And so I reply,
“I'm sorry Miss,
I overslept...
It won't happen again.”
Credits:
drawing by pigwire