It has been a long few months - starting just before Pride Month and bringing my whole world upside down. We all question our sexualities from time to time. Even though we often drop such thoughts since we might be either too scared to explore it, or disregard it because deep down, we just know. I just felt that it was time for me to write about my own journey of being a part of the LGBTQ+ community.
Sometimes, I wonder how I didn’t know that I was bi. Looking back there were so many signs that I liked girls, signs I won’t be looking into as much today, but obvious signs nonetheless. Maybe the shame around being bi and the rumors that it was either a lie or a stepping stone to being gay prevented me from realizing earlier. I was not gay. I liked guys too and I knew it, but crushes on certain girls made me doubt that from time to time.
Obviously, the worst part was when people who knew me well and whose opinions I valued managed to persuade me into thinking that I was tricking myself into being bi to make myself more interesting. Now this all seems insane and toxic to me.
It also became even more confusing when I turned to people that I trusted and admitted that I thought I might be bi, but they either thought that I was craving attention or that “it was just a phase” which they re-phrased in order not to sound like complete stereotypes. All in all, it wasn’t a smooth journey and I’m not proud of how many Buzzfeed quizzes were involved, but I’m here now and happy to have discovered this side of me.
I know I’m not really saying much in this article, but honestly, I just wanted to make sure that people who are questioning their sexuality know how valid they are. Especially people who think they might be bi, they should know that being bisexual doesn’t necessarily mean that you will like men and women equally. You can have a preference even if that is for the opposite gender. It doesn’t make you any straighter, I can tell you that.
Finally, I just want to say how much writing these articles regularly has helped me process my thoughts and emotions. I honestly hope that whoever reads this will get some clarity and feel more included in a community like the LGBTQ+ one which has been so accepting of me.
About the author:
My name is Louisa Vichou and I’m a 14 year old aspiring writer who loves painting, pretty much all sports, singing and piano. However, (like all the greats) I have an arch-enemy... maths!