Thoughts of a 12 Year Old

Updated: Nov 14

What kind of fears do you have?

Something I simply cannot stand is embarrassment. It’s nothing to be afraid of, I know, but that feeling you get when you make a humiliating mistake is the worst. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid of making mistakes, I learn from them, I just can’t make silly mistakes that can get people to laugh at me. My heart starts racing and the voice in the back of my head goes: “Did I really just do that?”. I hope you can relate when I say that in those moments, when everyone has latched their eyes on you, you have absolutely no clue what to say. I, personally, would feel blessed if I could just turn invisible and not show my face again for a very long time.

Do you stop yourself from taking action because you are afraid of making mistakes and/or dealing with the consequences?

I read this question and my first instinct is to say “absolutely not!”, but honestly, sometimes, I am afraid of dealing with the consequences. I usually have mental conversations just arguing over how bad the consequences could even be. I believe that we are all afraid of making mistakes because it might change what people think of us, or show that we are incapable of doing something. We all have the courage to do anything if it weren’t for the worry of doing something wrong.

What is better, to have tried and failed, or to never have tried at all?

I think it is a lot better to have tried and failed than to not try at all, because you feel good about trying even if you fail. When stubborn people, such as myself, fail, it is what gives us motivation and determination to try again and again. Yes, we most probably will fail a hundred more times, but it is all worth it in the end because we feel a priceless sense of accomplishment. When I don’t try, I am consumed by guilt and drowning in regret because I didn’t even give it a chance. So to all the people who are reading this: Embrace failure and keep on trying.

What negative inner beliefs dominate your life?

I have never really thought about this before, and usually when we have these negative inner beliefs, we don’t even realize we are actually having them. I’m not sure if this counts, but I always feel like I’m blamed. Something happens, and it’s all my fault. Generally, I’ve had these beliefs ever since my younger brother and I have been having conflicts. I’m older, so somehow that makes it my fault; by now when something (even outside of the family) takes place, I always manage to link it back to me (because I’m used to it by now).

… and if you let these negative beliefs go, what would happen?

Letting them go is easier said than done. I can only imagine how overwhelming it would be to finally get rid of the negative burdens swarming in the back of my mind. What would happen, though? I would be as free as a bird and as energetic as a kid with a bag of candy. I’d ask myself, “why not? What’s the worst that could happen?” to everything I’ve always wanted to do but never been brave enough to do. You could say I would ‘relive’ my life.

What positive inner beliefs dominate your life?

I don’t think this is a ‘belief’ but I’ve always considered myself lucky because of my friends. I may not be the most popular girl in the entire school, but I have great friends that make me happy. They are trustworthy, incredibly funny, and loyal, so I always look forward to seeing them. It is hard to find someone who understands you like you understand yourself, and that’s why I’ve always kept my friends close to me.

What thoughts inspire you?

What thoughts inspire me? Well to begin with, I feel inspired when I see people chase their dreams and deal with any obstacle that stops them. “You can be anything you want to be.” To me, these are words of encouragement that tell me I should follow whatever path I believe in and desire. I think of all the people who are now celebrities: They weren’t born famous, they worked hard to achieve their goals and get to where they want to be in life (not just celebrities, but also people around me who are successful in what they want to be).

What would you like to change in the world?

There are too many complications in the world we live in today to choose from. One thing that really stands out to me though, is poverty. I wish poverty would end. I think of all the people who live in Bangladesh where the overflowing rivers destroy homes, or in the African continent where in some cities people don’t have enough resources to live on. It’s sorrowful to think of how they live and what they’ve needed to do to survive. This attracts my attention the most.

…and what action do you take towards making these changes?

I am clueless on what I could do to get a step closer to ending poverty during this pandemic. What I would love to do though, is go to those countries and help the people living there, firsthand. In addition, I feel like doing research and having knowledge about these issues would help immensely towards getting nearer to achieving this, and make an impact in a good way.

What is your biggest dream?

My biggest dream is growing up. Growing up and not having to go to school, to have a job, a family, and friends. I have always dreamt what it would be like to do anything without needing the permission and approve from my parents. There are many things I have always wanted to do but I couldn’t because of the age restrictions (for example, paragliding or super-crazy roller-coasters), so I wonder what it would be like to have the chance to do these things.

What are you grateful for?

We tend to forget how privileged we are and how many things we consider ourselves lucky to have. I am grateful for all the travelling I have done, and the education I get (my school). I am grateful for the ability to sleep in on the weekends and take a break from the tiresome hours of online school and homework. I am grateful for my three wonderful, lazy cats and my hyper dog. I am grateful for all the popcorn on movie nights. And lastly, I am grateful for my loving friends and my caring family.


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