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Thoughts of a 29 Year Old

Updated: Nov 14, 2022

What kind of fears do you have?

Usually I have the fear of loss, because I have lost a few very close family members over the years. That is the reason why it is hard for me to admit to new/old friendships. Also, there is the very deeply-embedded fear of failing which always hinders me when working on new projects. But the greatest fear I have is the fear of open waters, even though the ocean is the most interesting thing on earth to me!

Do you stop yourself from taking action because you are afraid of making mistakes and/or dealing with the consequences?

Yes, that's often the case for me. At university I recognized for the first time that my fear is not my workflow. This was groundbreaking for me. I have always executed the first idea I had and never did any research beforehand. Now I know the reason was that I didn't want to fail. I didn't want my idea to get worse. In my opinion, the whole train of thought in this situation just wasn’t true.

What is better, to have tried and failed, or to never have tried at all?

I guess nearly every human experiences the positives of failing. So I would always take advantage of the opportunities that are given to me, especially things that are out of the box. At this point in my life, I am sure that I learned the most out of workshops/ museums/ lectures which were from other fields than illustration. Now I need to explain that I am a freelancing artist with focus on illustration. I don’t know if learning is the right word, maybe getting inspired is better. The most important thing in my opinion is that you let the river of your interests flow further and don't neglect it because you think it is redundant. If you are interested in gardening, grow something yourself and take time to research. If you are fascinated by the ocean like me, research a lot and adopt a shark. Okay, maybe not like that. All this information will strengthen and inspire your craftsmanship.

What negative inner beliefs dominate your life?

In my case I believe that I am not worthy of receiving. This is what led me to an incredibly sceptical mind because this phrase always pops up: It can't be that this person wants to give me something positive that I do not deserve, there must be something behind it. It is almost ridiculous but this is often the case.

… and if you let these negative beliefs go, what would happen?

With the help of caring people, I can now understand that love is essential and you don't need to do something to receive it. It is totally relieving not to calculate and speculate in social situations. You can give everything without wasting time with speculative thoughts.

What positive inner beliefs dominate your life?

That love is the most important thing. It is fulfilling to spread love to everyone and expect nothing in return. I guess love is the key to every major problem we as an individual have and the society as a whole has.

What thoughts inspire you?

Thoughts that deal with philosophical questions are the most inspiring to me. Spending time and thinking of the meaning of a very abstract feeling or situation is great. This kind of thinking is a major topic in my work as an artist. Also these thoughts can be interpreted broadly and it is up to you which level of abstraction you want to execute. For example, illustrating love can be done with the portrait of a couple or with two abstract circles and the right colors. One positive effect of this is that you can guess how much room for interpretation the viewer has.

What would you like to change in the world?

I would like to give every child the guarantee that they will be loved in their lives. Therefore, I would like to remove that fear from a child's heart. This is what I would like to change in our world besides so many other things.

… and what action do you take towards making these changes??

Spreading love every day. Luckily during my day job in a craft store I get in touch with a ton of people every day and I can express my love for every human being by helping and talking to them. Also I would like to find a volunteer position again where I can help people/children in need.

What is your biggest dream?

I don't know if I have a biggest dream yet. If we interpret it with a concrete goal in life I would like to add value to lives. Either with a physical project to help people or through my art. If we interpret it with something that can be fantasy I would like to visit other planets and share my experience.

What are you grateful for?

I am very grateful for every second spent interacting with others. I am most grateful for my grandparents and parents that raised me and loved me. Because there, I learned the meaning of love.

About the author:

My name is Lisa aka Toki and I am crazy in love with words

and every visual or acoustical expression.

Most of my time, I draw funny characters and write short stories about little dogs


Instagram: @toki.suke


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