Anyone who has survived between the ages of 12-18 knows what it is like to be pestered by the constant buzz of trivial nonsense that is catapulted to you out of nowhere from that occasionally-bearable woman you call “Mom.”
Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother, but I bet that if I was put on the spot, I could name half a dozen things that she has done in the past 24 hours that have made me want to murder her, right then and there. Since I don’t fancy the idea of spending ‘the best years of my life’ locked up in prison I decided to do some research as to why our previously tranquil relationship has turned into something of a battlefield, and what I can do to get her off my back so that I don’t give in to the little voices in the back of my head that keep telling me to empty all the bank accounts and get as far away from here as possible!!!
I am aware that you will all have heard the phrase “communication is key” a couple billion times but here it is again –
Communication is key! But don’t be fooled. Communication isn’t just sitting down and talking to each other, it’s mostly listening. Hell, I could probably start screaming a whole list of things that my mom does that piss me off and I’m more than certain that she could do the same for me, but that really isn’t the point! Personally, I haven’t found the appeal of therapy, all the “I feel”, “I hear you”... Yet, I have to admit that it has really opened my mind and helped me to see the whole picture.
Something else that seems to have put a strain on our relationship is the lack of space. I get that parents raise you, but it’s always very hard to loosen up their grip. Of course I know that I’m still underage and I remain their responsibility but the thing is, I need to be me. I need to have my own life and very often, it won’t be any of their concern. That is something many parents don’t really understand.
Another thing that parents do is that they try to live through their children, which obviously becomes quite hard when they grow up and start to have their own interests and create a whole separate side of themselves. That is also what I found to be the most common reason for teenagers to push parents away, which I could certainly relate to.
Finally, my one last piece of advice for those of you who are out on the battlefield everyday listening to lectures about laundry or getting annoyed when your mom yells at you for not helping out enough but when you do, you get yelled at for doing it all wrong, is to just stop. Don’t go up in flames all at once. If you want to be heard, then negotiate! But try not to get screwed over… mothers are way smarter than they care to show…
All jokes aside, they do so much for us without us even knowing, they even let us stay at home rent-free (if you’re lucky!)… What I’m saying is: Stand up for yourself but have in mind that they always have a lot on their plates too.
About the author:
My name is Louisa Vichou and I’m a 14 year old aspiring writer who loves painting, pretty much all sports, singing and piano. However, (like all the greats) I have an arch-enemy... maths!
drawing by annalipski