Why Do We Seek Validation From Guys?

Updated: Nov 14

If you ask any little girl what she wants in the future, there is a list of things that she will definitely put at the top: she’ll be beautiful, she’ll have children, and finally. she’ll have the perfect Mr. Right. Even teenagers have ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ at the very top of their ‘wishlist’... why?

The truth is that if you think about it, ever since we are little, girls are brainwashed to believe that their life’s purpose is to get married and have kids. We are fed endless fairytales orbiting around ‘meeting our prince’ and even though independence is one of the main factors of these bed-time stories the ‘princess’ somehow turns completely codependent as soon as she ‘falls in love.’

Personally, even if my perfect Prince Charming did exist and came and ‘swept me off my feet’, being an obsessing, stereotypical house-wife would in no case be the extent of my pursuits.

All the things we are ‘taught’ in our childhood are the main factors of a girl’s life that forces unto her the idea that guys are ‘all there is to live for’ and other such thoughts. Of course, society is changing and ideals aren’t what they used to be. However, we all still somehow seek validation, praise, and approval from specific guys around us.

Most people think that a woman seeking validation from other men has pretty much everything to do with the praise she got as a child from her own father and that she is spending the rest of her adult life trying to achieve that feeling of completeness. Although that may be the case for some, I believe that objectification has a lot to do with a woman’s constant search for validation.

Objectification is defined as the action of degrading someone to the status of a mere object, and has been going on for centuries in this male-dominated world. Unfortunately, it has even reached a point where it is actually normalized! I’m not against beauty pageants, but it upsets me that there are women who are actually begging to be squeezed into a swimsuit and paraded next to each other for men to judge. In my opinion, everyone should be able to do whatever they want but for the love of God, if you are going to do something then do it for yourself. Being attractive is said to be something that women want for themselves, but if you analyse it a bit more you will see the links. Everything boils down to being approved by a man as a woman and it’s something that definitely needs to change!

If you want to try and put effort into something then do it for you. If you want to be thinner or more beautiful in any way, then do it for you. Life is short and women shouldn’t be wasting it by waiting to be classified as something of worth...Do whatever the f*ck you want and do it for you!

About the author:

  • My name is Louisa Vichou and I’m a 14 year old aspiring writer who loves painting, pretty much all sports, singing and piano. However, (like all the greats) I have an arch-enemy... maths!


  • drawing by annalipski

  • Website: www.annalipski.com

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